I still don’t have a better title. This one may stick, although it may limit my market.
I am at 127k words. The first pass is usually when by the end of the book, the characters have been fleshed out a little more, so you make the first part match the second part. Notably foreshadowing and moments where, “Sarah wouldn’t say that…!”
Speaking of Sarah, she’s been a difficult character as far as motivations are concerned. I understand her well, but making the reader see what I see has been difficult. Otherwise, I think readers might go, “Come on…! She just stands there and TAKES that?” Her captain is severely abusive, and one of her shipmates is also very complicated. The perspective switches several times from Sarah to Jen, and making that work has been a little bit of a balancing act.
Also, in many cases where I had writers block, I leave whole sections as skeletons. Like:
“I am not sure if being dead to your family is really the same as not knowing who they were in the first place,” Jen said. “But I suppose that’s not my place to judge. But what I do know is that… you and I… have one common bond. The desire for love. And right now… there’s only the two of us against some pretty slim odds of survival.”
Sarah swallowed. Her constant fear of discovery had prevented her from attending to her needs; she knew that much. But could she take on any sort of relationship now? Or would she always wait until it was too late? And was she even attracted to women? But as the distance between her and Jen closed, she felt her self-analysis drift apart. She just wanted reassurance once in her life that someone genuinely cared for her that didn’t need her for just her professional skills.
“You smell like cloves…” was the only thing she could utter in reply as their lips met.
[INSERT TASTEFUL LOVE SCENE HERE, FOLLOWED BY INTERRUPTION BY ELIZA]
“You guys make me sick,” Eliza said. “If there’s one drawback to having a human crew, it’s their disgusting habits to mate. And Jen’s not even the opposite sex. You can’t even fucking get THAT right, Sarah.”
This is going to take several passes.