I am happy with the ending now. So the first draft of the book is FINISHED at just under 99k words, which is good because once I am done with the first edit, it should be about 105k I am guessing. I have already started the first edit, which will probably be one of three before the beta readers get hold of it. Thus, no NaNoWriMo for this November, either, I am afraid.

Boo, hiss.

In other SQUUEEE CELBRITY ZOMG news, I am giving advice to Alison Arngrim (author of “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch”), apparently. Back when I worked at Crown Books in old town Alexandria, we had some authors who would sneak in and sign their books like literary Ninjas. I have a few of them. I remember catching Joseph Girzone signing “Joshua.” He’d leave inspirational messages in his books, and I always told myself I’d do the same when I got the chance (which is hopefully soon). Here’s our small Twitter chat:

@Arngrim And my book is here…borders in airport http://twitpic.com/3128rl

@punkwalrus@Arngrim You should secretly sign them with hidden messages. When I worked at a book store here, we had some authors do that. Ninja signing.

@ Arngrim @punkwalrus. Great idea! I’m sooo doing that next time! And write really weird things too!

@punkwalrus @Arngrim “Help I am being held prisoner in a book binding factory!” or “On certain nights, this book gives you secret frog-like powers…
@punkwalrus @Arngrim Or, “To the former abused child who finds this: we hear you. Come find us, we’re looking for you and can help. Bring cookies.”

@Arngrim @punkwalrus oh yes! Lots of cookies! Chocolate chip!

If anyone would have said I’d be chatting with the actress who played Nellie Olsen years ago, I would have said, “Who?” Alison is actually a HYSTERICAL comedienne, and I caught one of her shows on TV many years ago. Then I saw her on some “Remember the 70s?” show on VH1 and realized who Nellie Olsen was. I mean I was *aware* of the TV series, and had read the first book as a kid, but I wasn’t allowed to watch TV as a kid. Then USA networks was showing the series last year, so I pretty much watched the entire series in a matter of months for the first time with Christine, because she was a big fan when she was growing up. It was funny, I kept seeing Nellie as “young Alison who does raunchy stand-up” unlike the rest of the world who probably wonders why Alison doesn’t actually have curly white hair. And I was SHOCKED what a bitch Nellie was. But even worse that Nellie, I *hated* her mother. What an ass-tastic spoiled hag. I think in a real prairie town back then, “mob justice” would have found them both drowned in rain barrels one morning. At least Nellie redeemed herself in the end.

Alison was also abused as a child, and had a lot of parallels in her life that I did. If you’ve been abused as a child, please get a copy and read it. There’s a lot of hope in there. When I read her book, I was glued to it. I think I read it in 6 hours. Even if you’ve never liked the TV show she was on, I think her book is amazingly entertaining and thoughtful. I am glad I bought a hard copy.

She’s so cool!